This picture is how I see myself, except maybe a little more scarred up and covered in ashes. I’m not about the whole perfect, pretty princess in the tower aspect that is popular in the body of Christ at the moment. But I’ll take warrior princess. Anyway, SOOOO many times, and for SOOOO many years, I allowed people’s judgments of me to keep me down in the mire of my mistakes and lies spoken over me, instead of fighting tenaciously on the battlefield.
A lot of people will be like, “Oh, that picture looks MAD! You are an angry person” Honestly, I am a bit angry. Not at people, but at that judgmental attitude that takes ahold of so many in the body of Christ, and beyond. I am angry that I allowed lies to distract me from what I said, “Yes!” to so many years ago. I allowed those lies to tell me that I wasn’t “good enough” or too “bitter” to follow that call on my life. I frustrated that people allow their own insecurities to destroy other people’s GODLY WORK on the planet, because they are jealous, or judgmental, or both. I am frustrated with the many things that I see holding the church back from being more fruitful.
This is just who I am. I am weird, (and okay with that.) Not a lot of people will “get me”, (and I’m also okay with that.) I can be forceful, but I also can be kind and compassionate, giving people more chances than the “calm” people often do. I’m not made of water. I’m made of fire, grit and ashes. That’s how GOD made me. Hello! I’m telling you, GOD made me that way, and He also has led me through some hard trials in order to learn more compassion, and when to speak, and how to speak. I’m not always perfect at this yet. He has made me to search out the “dangers” that the enemy has set. It’s in my spiritual DNA. I’m baffled that so many times, this eagle-eye perception has been thrown the bitter card or judgmental. If I say something that I see, it isn’t to say shame on you and now live in your shame. It is to say, I see this. Take it or leave it, but if you take it, I believe that God can do so much more through you or through the body of Christ.
There are so many different types of people, and God has made us all unique. I’m beyond being ashamed of the fiery, “solemn”, thinking, and intuitive person that I am. I love who I am. I don’t think that everyone should be like me. I love the sunshiney-happy, servant-hearted people that God has made, like my mother-in-law, and Aggie are. I love the calm, cool, and collected people like my husband and Lilly are. I love the straight-backed administrator types. I love the ones that are constantly lost in the presence of God. I especially have a heart for those who have been broken and rejected, because I’ve been there.
Someone wise told me that I don’t have to accept people’s judgments of who I am, because I’m not any of my family members. I’m not the church I grew up in. I’m not even the person that I used to be. I’m Risa Kopp. I’m not anyone else’s bitterness. I’m not anyone else’s excuse to be an awful person. I’m His daughter, and He’s pretty darn delighted in me.
The same goes for you. You are beautiful, just as you are. You may be flawed, as am I, but we all have a lifetime to become better. You may stumble, but God forgives your repentant soul. You can get up and walk again. Don’t let ANYONE push you back down into your mistakes. I’ll repeat that. Don’t let ANYONE, anyone AT ALL, no matter who they are, or what position they hold, hold your face down in the mud in the mire of your past. You are forgiven. You are His son or His daughter, and He’s pretty darn delighted in you.