God has had me on a very specific journey for the past year and a half.  He asked me to trust Him.  I have been a lot better about it than I used to be, but I still have moments of putting my fingerprints on what God wants to handle.

Right now, there are a lot of things up in the air for us as a family.  It seems the adult members of our clan are being required of God to trust Him in an even deeper way.  We are all thinkers, and it is easy for us to rationalize our way through life.  He is calling me personally to watch what He can do.  It is easy, sometimes. 😀

“Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again.  The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” – Exodus 14:13

Some Thoughts on Bible Study

It took YEARS for me to unravel bad doctrine from my brain, and learn to read the Bible objectively, without thinking about what a church leader told me I should believe about something. Once I was able to do this, it felt like I read the Bible in a different way- like a fog had been lifted from my mind. I definitely can think a lot clearer when reading the Bible than I did many years ago.

Recently, I read a book written by a Christian author in which I started reading thinking that I would really love it. However, as I got into it, I started getting little, yellow flags. So, instead of continuing reading, I stopped where I was at and searched up EVERY Scripture on the subject that I could find. I spent nearly two whole days studying this ONE particular subject and working through the book, so that I could figure out what I believed in, before continuing on. (And not to brag, but to make a point: I read REALLY, REALLY quickly, AND comprehensively. In revealing this about myself, I am trying to say that two whole days of studying for me is a LOT of reading. My family can vouch for this.)

Back on point: Sadly, as this book went on, the doctrine became increasingly off in its “doctrine”. By the end there was a giant, red flag waving, (or a couple of them). Also misfortunate was the slight twisting of the Word to fit the man’s “new ideas”, which in fact are very similar to gnosticism. And the most scary part about it isn’t even that people read it and are convinced to grab ahold of that false doctrine, but more so that people defend the book without having read it.

Eric and I don’t quite know what to do now that we are “church-less” again. We believe in being strong in the Word, but also in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. (And I know that some of my friends here don’t even go to church or believe in God, so I’m sorry if this post annoys you. This is just where we are at.) We are trying to not step on too many toes in the midst of this too, while also feeling grieved that the body of Christ isn’t as mature and strong as it thinks it is.

This truth is often passed by because most Christians say, “Well, not MY church.” In reality, I’ve found that to be the opposite in most cases. I really don’t think that some people read the Bible to find Truth. I think that some read to find their idea of truth or to make themselves feel good or because they feel guilted into reading it, because that is what they are “supposed” to do. I think that some churches who do operate in the gifts of the Spirit do so in order to make themselves look spiritual or to give them a spiritual high. I’m not saying this critically, but out of concern for the trajectory that the modern-day church is on. This is an observation I’ve made that I feel has some relevance to TRUE change and for the Harvest.

I always say I’m not going to even bother making posts like these anymore, because it feels about as productive as digging a hole with a spoon. However, something deep inside me won’t let me quit making stands. If it offends you, I don’t think I should apologize to you. Oftentimes truth is uncomfortable.

Strong in Word and Spirit

The other day I posted the following note on my personal page. The things that God shows me are not always easy to post, as they are sometimes counter to the current Christian culture. Sometimes they irk people I know and love, but I have to post them anyway.

Just yesterday I was talking to Eric about how tired I am of writing and talking of things that God shows me, because it often feels like it does more to anger people than encourage them. In my opinion, people are way too defensive of their doctrine. God will have His way no matter what any man says, so why not relax and trust if it is a message from Him, it will come to pass? 🤔

Anyway, below is the post I wrote, followed by the link to a prophecy from Smith Wigglesworth that touches on the same idea of balance that I felt to address just a couple of days ago.

Here it is:

I feel that the church, in general and non-specific, is becoming a place more centered on thrilling experiences, instead of a people focused on becoming stronger in the Bible and doctrine. There is a self-indulgent behavior that I was a part of in the past that merely served myself, and made me feel good.

What happened is an elitist mentality became a part of who I was, and it was no longer the righteousness of Christ that I wore, but my own self-righteousness. I lost hold of grace. I became self-centered or church-centered, instead of Christ-centered. Jesus ministered to more than those that were in his inner circle. It was an inward thing, that spread outward.

The church needs a lot more balance than it has. It is either too wishy-washy, wanting to be thrilled by spiritual phenomenon, and weak in searching out the meat of the Word, or too dry, having a strong biblical foundation, but abandoning all of the power of the Holy Spirit. And in all of these areas, the church is doing too little to reach the lost. We are too comfortable within our church walls. We are too self-centered, and “ME”-oriented. I think that this is a shame.


Here is the link to the Smith Wigglesworth prophecy: